The Questions of Jesus: Matt: 12:48, Who is my Mother? Who are my Brothers?
The Quote from Matthew 12:48: “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?”
Prelims: Two loaded questions our Lord asks us. As with many of His questions, these have more than one meaning. The direct, literal meaning of His Mother – Mary, for example, versus the general meaning of mother in the context of the community, e.g. Mother Jones. Indeed, the same with “brothers,” which at the time often meant close kinfolk; cousins, for example.
The Question in Context: Our Lord asks the Question as a result of a seemingly minor comment about His family members. At first blush, our Lord’s question may seem to play down the role of His Mother and other family members, but from the discussion points below, I think you will see the opposite is the result, as is often the case for His questions and His answers to His Own questions.
46While He was still speaking to the crowds, His mother and His brothers appeared outside, wishing to speak with Him. 47[Someone told Him, “Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, asking to speak with You.”]*48But He said in reply to the one who told Him, “Who is My Mother? Who are My brothers?”
49And stretching out his hand toward His disciples, He said, “Here are My Mother and My brothers.50For whoever does the will of My heavenly Father is My brother, and sister, and mother.”
The Question: Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?
The Answer: Those who do the will of the Heavenly Father (like My Mother!).
Your Answer and Discussion Points: Our Lord does not equate natural kinship with spiritual kinship. Those who do the will of His heavenly Father belong to His true family. St. Paul carries this concept further in his “Spirit of Adoption” discussion in Romans, where we are allowed to cry out to God as we would our Daddy “Abba, Father!”
We know that Mary, His Mother, did the will of the heavenly Father by Her fiat (Luke 1:38). Christ knows this as well, and so His question is honoring to Mary, but challenges everyone else to “let it be done unto me according to Your Word.”
He points to the crowd of His disciples for the second half of His statement – to those who are doing the Father’s will, and calls them Brothers and Sisters and Mothers. And He just spoke the word, didn’t He? Many knew the origins of His conception and scoffed at it (see Jn 8:19 & following). So pointing to His Mother as an example, He defends Her.
How will you answer when Jesus asks you the question: Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?
When I have shared an experience with other people of faith on a retreat, or when I meet someone with a similar background of shared experience, e.g. the soldier’s life, I will often call that person “brother” or “sister.” In the labor movement, here in Illinois, there’s a famous woman who worked with the miners, known as “Mother” Jones, since they shared a belief and value system. In that instance, and that of the military example, we are taking the transcendent relationship out of the religious realm, but assigning a closer bond to a fellow traveler because of our united struggles or sufferings.
The sense of intimacy involved in this question is like being on the same team and rejoicing or showing sorrow when the team is down. We celebrate individual accomplishments as well as team wins. We are in “the brotherhood” or “the family” since we paid our dues, followed obediently, performed at or above standards regardless of the circumstances. We did the will of our leader, our titular father.
And sometimes we sit the bench when we don’t do what we are supposed to do. We let our team mates down. We call in sick when we know we could do what was required if we stretched a little.
Then there’s the additional complication of doing our own will versus the Father’s will. Many times it’s difficult to figure out whether I am doing THIS because it’s His will, or is it really my will. It’s great when these are in sync, and you know it. It feels right. When you subordinate your will to His, it’s a pleasant servitude. When you are doing your own, pretending it’s His will, you feel uncomfortable, and things just don’t seem to work out.
One final thought. This has been a long answer to a short question. 
Calling Jesus ‘my Brother’ is difficult for a guy who does not even like to say His Name without bowing my head, or prefacing His Name with “our Lord.” I tell you that because doing the Father’s will is more difficult than it sounds, and yet becomes easier as I seek out what His will is for me. If I am living in that sphere all the time, perhaps I will feel more at ease in calling Him “Brother.”